I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
