the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
