So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
