can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
