filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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