Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
