My room smells like vodka and shame
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We left the knife in your bed.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
