You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Randomize
