Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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