We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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