We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
