her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
