seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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