Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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