I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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