so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
