Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
