Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
