you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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