I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
