i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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