before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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