Please, let me fuck your mom
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Randomize
