Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
