the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
