is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
