Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
