it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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