Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
