so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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