Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
