I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just gargled with NyQuil
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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