We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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