how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
