FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
