On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
