at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Umm I'm too high to move.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
