dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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