Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
that is very illegal...i love you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
