the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize