they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
