Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dick very happy bro
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
