True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
