Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
