And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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