I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Dicks are not precious.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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