Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize