i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
