I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
