then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
