imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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