I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
