she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
