chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
