I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
