yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize