There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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