Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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