So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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