I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was born a porn star she said
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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