WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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