pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
