You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
