i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
