You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
