I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
