it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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