He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i drank out of a bidet.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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